Each Day is more difficult

Daily, Mom is physically challenged with old and new symptoms. Despite the discomforts Mom's pain is again in control. She now needs to be on her oxygen more and more to maintain her energy. Today, Mom enjoyed the family, but did not converse much. She was pretty tired and speaking was more difficult. Her energy is low, her voice is raspy, and she dozes off many times within an hour.

Mom did find the energy today to educate three people for 15 minutes on how to manage their weight. She actually lit up, was very focused and mentally conveyed her thoughts clearly. We all chuckle that Mom still focuses on offering constructive ideas for each of us to better ourselves. Bless her heart that she is more concerned about everyone else more than herself. Her depth of love and caring for others will never change.

Mom did join Kimmy and I for dinner tonight. I made her a lovely ham, chicken, cheese, lettuce, tomato and honey mustard sandwich on a roll. Mom had a big smile while eating it. We are so happy she is eating though she does not have a trigger for hunger anymore. I know she simply humors me. She seems to only eat if I am around at this point. Thank G-d I am here with her from 11am to after midnight everyday. I am definitely a product of my parents. I, like my parents, am so food oriented. We so adore that dirty four letter word...FOOD.

Mom, Kimmy and I are enjoying the quiet time at night together. Mom is in awe of how Kimmy is able to shut out everything around her all day and into the night, sit with her computer and put in long hours of work. Mom, I and a wonderful nurse Heather shared some time tonight to give her a real shower. Mom also enjoyed a foot bath. She was squeaky clean and felt refreshed. Mom was absolutely exhausted by the time she got back into bed. I gave her another massage (her 3rd for the day)and fell right into a calm sleep.

xoxoxo I so love sharing our time together xoxoxo

It is still so surreal that Mom will not be getting better, not coming home, not enjoy shopping with me, not hanging out with me, not having girl talks with me, not playing board games with me, not socializing with her and or my friends, not sharing with our family when we get together, not planning trips with Poppie, and mostly not coming home to San Diego with Poppie to enjoy Kimmy, Shayna Punum and all our friends again with me. I better stop now. My tears are streaming in between the keys on my keyboard.

Thank you for sharing all these months in my journey with my Mom and our entire family so far. I will blog again tomorrow.

Again, your love, warmth, emails, cards, and reaching out has been instrumental to helping us all be here today and still enjoying our Energizer Momma Ruthie. Her battery is loosing its juice and there is no way to plug her back in.

All my love and thank you for your compassion,
Karen