Mom is connecting at a new level

Today is day 15 since Mom was admitted on April 11 with a 911 call. Poppie arrived his usual time to see Mom at 8 am. We designated the mornings so Mom and Poppie could have private time for 3-4 hours. Mostly they have a light bite of breakfast together, visit for a bit and then fall asleep together for several hours. The rest of the family slowly trickles in after 11:30am.

This morning was a slightly new routine. Mom is slipping away slowly. Poppie arrived finding Mom gently and quietly being fed small nibbles of oatmeal. Mom's eyes remained closed the entire time. Since yesterday afternoon, Mom had barely opened her eyes when spoken with. Poppie listened quietly to Mom's Nurse, Heather, so gently and softly speaking with Mom. Mom could answer questions in a quiet, low and straining voice. Mom did not open her eyes at all to speak.

This afternoon, Poppie's sisters were on a roll telling family stories. The theme was basaed around embarassing momments. We were all in stitches listening to Aunt Carol and then Aunt Maxine. They both have an incredible delivery and such a theatrical way with their story telling. Mom, although never opened her eyes, she periodically would chuckle, smile or smirk. We all enjoyed. My childhood friend, Lisa and her boyfriend Chris stopped in and Chris shared lots of his childhood stories and laughter. Mom always perks up when Lisa is around. It is wonderful to have decades of history bouncing around the room for all to enjoy.

Again, Poppie, Aunt Carol, Aunt Maxine, Mike, Cindy, and Brian left between 6-9:00pm. Kimmy and I like to stay with Mom into the night until 11:30pm - 1 am. Mom had a surprise visitor tonight. One of her first Doctors back in November, Dr. Brandon Stead, came by with his wife, Cherry and son, Kiel for a quick visit. Mom and Poppie have adopted them into our family. Since November, we have had them over monthly for dinners and we all have come to love each others company. Though the visit was a short one, Mom so enjoyed seeing them in between her quick naps.

Tonight is the third night Mom has gone into a deep sleep mumbling, talking and exhibiting lots of facials. It was interesting last night around 10pm, Mom mumbled that "You need to help Daddy fix the computer". She kept repeating this to Kimmy and I several times in her deep dream state. We did not think much of this. Around 12:30am, Kimmy and I arrived home. Poppie was waiting up for me and asked if I would please fix the computer. He said around 10pm he had hit a wrong key again on the computer and the emails got "messed up". He could not resolve the problem and wanted to call Mom , as she usually corrects the issues. Unfortunately, he had to wait until I got home to correct the problem. I shared the story about Mom saying he had problems tonight around the same time and we simply stared at each other with our eyes wide open and speechless. Has Mom entered a new dimension? Is Mom now taping into a different part of her brain that we are not able to? "Things that make you go hmmmmmm."

Mom was emotionally deflated today. She simply has had enough and does not want to continue suffering. She has asked her Dr.'s and Nurses several times today if they would please give her a pill to stop her suffering. She no longer is able to transfer herself without assistance, she is using a camode by her bed (discussion of a catheter was presented today), she is on additional medication to slow down some discomforting symptoms and she is extremely exhausted. She no longer is able to keep her eyes open for more than a minute or so. She is unable to feed herself, though she is still able to swallow. She has absolutely NO appetite and is refusing to eat more than a few spoonfuls several times of day.

Mom and I spoke this morning on how this is NOT a way to die. She wants me and the medical staff to write letters to change the laws! She wants people to be able to take a "Pill" and end their own misery. It is so painful to watch such a slow death. Especially, to someone that is so mentally present and feels so trapped in a body that is so far advanced with a disease and simply continues to be failing her.

This is NOT A WAY TO DIE!

Karen